Sex Comment and Humour Blog. An entertaining slant on the amusing, lurid and sometimes ridiculous side of sex…
 

There was an interesting article on Tantric Sex in the Times on May 31st by the London Times Doctor in residence, Thomas Stuttaford, and Suzi Godson, a well known writer on all things sexual.

Tantric sex is a little like those signs you pass on the motorway to distant towns; places you’ve never visited and probably never will. 

People say they’re lovely, but somehow it seems like a long way to go, and is it worth the journey and what if you don’t like it when you get there?

The article was a little like that; Suzi made the journey with her husband to attend a course on Tantric sex, to see if it’s a place worth visiting.

There are some really interesting books about Tantric sex and some really dreadful, pretentious ones. 

No doubt there are really interesting courses about Tantric sex and some equally dreadful ones, too.  Unfortunately Suzi chose one of the latter rather than one of the former. 

The inescapable conclusion from her article was the course was pretty dire, but that left the questions about Tantric Sex unanswered.  What is it all about and, really, can we be bothered anyway?

A good book on Tantric Sex

Let’s start with a good book about the subject; my recommendation by the way is Tantric Secrets by Cassandra Lorius.  There’s stuff in there that I’m sure everyone would agree with; that sex is a giving, loving thing, for example. We should think about our partners’ needs rather than our own. 

We shouldn’t rush, but instead take our time and enjoy the moment with the person we love. We should view sex as a pleasure oriented activity and not performance related. Three cheers for that. 

Tantra and visualisations

But isn’t Tantric Sex full of wacky religious stuff? I hear you cry. Yes, there are religious overtones and lots of visualisations, for example that you and your lover are connected by waves of energy entering and re-emerging from your bodies at seven separate points called “chakras”.  Now if Tantric sex were a Railway Line I’d be looking to get off at the next station and run for the exit.

Visualisations are fine, in fact many top sportspeople visualise their next action whether that’s jumping, running, throwing, kicking or hitting (sounds like a Friday night fight at the pub doesn’t it?).  Visualisations do help us attain higher performance.  But do we need that in sex? That really depends on what we as an individuals and as a couple want out of sex.

Someone may want an urgent release of pent up sexual tension – masturbation may come in handy here.  Sometimes we want a quick kiss and cuddle, perhaps one climax and off to sleep, if it’s a working day tomorrow. And sometimes, on a Sunday morning, a couple have all the time in the world to indulge themselves with loving, giving sex.  Tantric Sex isn’t really the thing for a release from tension or a quick cuddle. 

Make time in your life to make love

So the jury’s out on Tantric sex.  Certainly in the busy, hectic lives we have nowadays, we often don’t make time for relaxed, sensual sex, and that’s a pity.  Tantra perhaps has something to offer us there. Certainly there’s the message “Make time in your life to make love”.  There’s only one life (like this at least), so shouldn’t we spend some of our spare time making love to the one we love?

Let’s improve

And shouldn’t we seek to improve as well? We set ourselves all sorts of goals in life – to be a better manager, salesman, teacher or whatever.  We take courses in technology or management skills. For the dedicated sportspeople amongst us we book a session with a golf coach, a tennis coach, a badminton coach or whatever sporting endeavour where we seek to improve. In most areas of our lives there are coaches to advise us on “how to do it better”. 

But a sex coach? Could the Tantric Sex coaches be the first of a new breed? Well, there’s a thought…