Why do men and women fake orgasms?
We normally associate faking orgasms with women but men can do it too. So why does a woman fake it? Well for a variety of reasons, the most common reason probably being that she’s not aroused enough to have an orgasm and she wants sex to be over, and of course she doesn’t want to offend her mans feelings.

Why does a man fake it?
Probably for similar reasons to why a woman fakes it! If a man is tired and perhaps feels he can’t come, he may just pretend and fake it; it saves all the discussion around “Why didn’t you come? Don’t you fancy me / love me any more?”

Does faking it do any harm?
Faking it is a kind of lie, a kind of untruth. It’s a cop out. It leads one partner to believe something is true when actually it isn’t. “But what if the truth hurts?” she might say, especially if he’s never been able to make her come. In the short term it may paper over the cracks, if it was just a one-off does it matter? Perhaps not.

But what if she fakes it again though? And again? And again? Open communication and honesty is best in any relationship. Sooner or later problems need to be resolved or the relationship will become an unhappy one.

The trap of faking orgasm
Faking it is a trap. Men are good at following procedures, noticing what works and repeating it. So a man will dutifully notice his woman’s reaction to his lovemaking and if she has an orgasm he’ll think “Great! All I have to do now is repeat what I did last time and she’ll have another orgasm”. But what if she faked it?

Imagine a man cooking dinner for his woman. He cooks her the meal she hates most – Tripe, liver, onions and mashed swede for example. Now if she pretends she enjoys it but secretly chucks it in the bin is there any harm done? What about if he cooks the same thing next week, and the week after that? The problem is she's set herself up to get something she doesn't like.

If she's faked an orgasm he thinks he's found the system to give her an orgasm and just keeps on repeating it. Beware of telling any “lie”, once you start, where do you stop?

Please give us some feedback
It’s one of those areas where there needs to be more research, so we at LMForum welcome your comments if you’re prepared to share on why you faked it. Please join a forum or contact us. We’ll keep your identity confidential.

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