Relationship problems affect us hugely. The relationship with a partner is for most people the core relationship in their life. We leave our parents, and our children leave us. We leave a job or the job leaves us! But our relationship – we’ll go through thick and thin to make that work. But all relationships, and many sexual relationships, have problems, sometimes only small ones, sometimes very big ones.

Coaching and counselling
This is a coaching website rather than a counselling website. Our aim is to make things even better rather than to solve problems. There are many websites and services focused on solving relationship problems and very, very few on coaching for improved “sexual performance" which is the focus of this website. Having said that, many problems can be solved quickly, if people face up to those problems and if they’re determined to solve them. Pain, or rather the avoidance of pain, is a powerful motivator in peoples' lives. Sometimes we'll avoid considering the long term pain of a problem because we can’t bear the short term pain of trying to fix it.

Problems: pain and pleasure
We rarely think about the long term pleasure we’ll get by solving a problem, we just think about the short term pain we're in and maybe a short term way of avoiding that pain. The trick with forcing ourselves to confront a problem is to consider the long term: the long term pleasure of solving it, and the long term pain if we don’t. Using pain and pleasure in this way helps us come to the conclusion that “Enough is enough, I’m going to solve this!”

Sexual problems are still a taboo subject for many people
We hope that this site will enable people to understand more about their sexual health. Anyone with specific sexually related problems that are preventing them developing a relationship or are harming an existing relationship should see a qualified practitioner, doctor, therapist or counsellor as appropriate.

Focus on something... and your brain keeps reminding you
The brain is both a wonderful aid and a curse, it all depends how we use it. If we focus on our problems our subconscious mind keeps going round and round on those problems. You know how when you buy a different car or item of clothing that suddenly you notice lots of people driving that same car or wearing those same clothes? Your brain registers someone with "your" new car or new clothes and draws your attention to it. Your brain repeats back to you whatever you ask it to focus on. Focus on pain and miserable things and hey presto, your brain keeps reminding you of the pain and misery in your life.

Focus on solutions not problems
The more we think about our problems, the more our subconscious keeps reminding us about those problems. Use your brain in a better way by focusing on possible solutions: think about how you want it to be in the future. So, step one, write down the problem. Writing a problem down is the first stage to solving it. Step two is to write “What are the possible solutions to this problem?” on the same piece of paper. Then give your brain 24 hours to come up with some solutions. Treat your subconscious the way they do the maverick policeman in Hollywood films “OK, Buster. You’ve got 24 hours to solve this!”

Let your brain work on it overnight
The next day, after you’ve slept on it, get your piece of paper out and write down all the possible solutions you can come up with. Ask a doctor, or possibly a close friend, for possible solutions. Then think “What’s the best way forward?” and then Take Action! Taking action to solve a problem will help you feel empowered and in control.

Always focus on the positive outcome not the negative problem
If you read the self help books, for example about how you might become wealthy, what they tell you is to focus on a great question such as “How could I get an income in excess of fifty / a hundred grand a year?” What you mustn’t do is say “I don’t want to be poor”. Our brains, our helpful, stupid brains can’t cope with negatives. Our problem solving brains can’t work with negative statements they need positive outcomes to work on. Think about your problem then think how you want to be in the future, and then focus on possible ways to achieve the thing that you desire.

Read more...

• The Freeze
  Give women orgasms, men last longer too
   
• Orgasmic Triggers
  Physical and Verbal events to fire her orgasms
   
• Penetrative Foreplay
  Put her in a "Sensual Trance"