In many aspects of our daily lives our minds and bodies are in a regular battle over our behaviour, be that over eating food versus weight loss, or another alcoholic drink versus a need to be fresh in the morning and so on. With sexual behaviour it’s no different.

The male pre-programming to spread his genes means men typically think about sex quite often and from a selfish viewpoint.

If a man can re-programme the way he thinks about lovemaking he can become a great lover, give huge amounts pleasure to his partner and of course, get great pleasure for himself.

Rewire Yourself
A man may be pre-programmed by nature for quick sex, but it doesn’t have to be like that. A man may be pre-programmed to focus on his own pleasure rather than the woman’s; again, it doesn’t have to be like that. We are pre-programmed to enjoy certain things, and find them pleasurable, whereas other things may cause us discomfort, irritation or even “pain”.

A man can change how he links emotions to sex
A man may consider foreplay as boring or as a most wonderful mental and physical experience. It’s how he links emotions to sex. A man can focus either on the pleasure he gets on achieving his orgasm, or instead focus on the pleasure he gets from the woman having her orgasm.

If a man can reprogram himself so he gets pleasure from her orgasm, then the more orgasms she has, the more pleasure he gets. If he can give himself a "buzz", a kind of "feel good reward", every time he gets her to climax then he's going to get pleasure every time she has an orgasm.

Change pleasure associations
If a man associates ultimate pleasure with giving her orgasms, he becomes more focused on her pleasure and in turn rewards himself for that, because her pleasure generates his pleasure. The more fun feelings a man gets from trying different ways to fire off her orgasms, the more he enjoys lovemaking over his own orgasm; he gets as much, if not more pleasure from the journey, as from the destination. (For more information on firing off orgasms see Orgasmic Triggers).

Mind-body pleasures
As the man’s mind reprogams what he wants to find pleasurable so it becomes possible for him to link any pleasure to his own. He now finds pleasurable something that he may not have registered before as pleasurable. This is also how a man or woman’s interest in fetish develops. Somehow an association is created between an object or item of clothing and sex.

NLP and CBT
We can change our view of life, change our view of ourselves, or change our view of what we find pleasurable. For more information on these aspects of behavioural change we recommend you tour the "Self-help" section of any bookshop particularly looking for reference information on NLP (Neuro Lnguistic Programming) or CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy).

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Better Sex with the EROS Technique Lovemaking Video
Our Guide to Arousal, Foreplay and Giving her Multiple Orgasms...



The Freeze
Give women orgasms, men last longer too


Orgasmic Triggers
Physical and Verbal events to fire her orgasms


Penetrative Foreplay
Put her in a "Sensual Trance"