Many men would like to delay having their orgasms. In fact according to Dr Helen Kaplan’s definition, any man who has an orgasm earlier than he wanted could be deemed to suffer from Premature Ejaculation (PE).

It’s possible to delay orgasm by both physical and psychological approaches as we’ll discuss later.

The problem for many men is that they get too excited too quickly and events overtake them, they come before they even know they’re ready to come in some instances.

Dr Helen Kaplan’s approach to Premature Ejaculation
Dr Helen Kaplan worked with thousands of couples in the 1990s and devised a strategy known as the “Squeeze” whereby the man would withdraw and he or his partner would squeeze the end of his penis to reduce his level of excitement. She reported great success with this approach and we recommend anyone suffering from PE should read her book (Premature Ejaculation ISBN 087630542-7). This Lovemakingforum site also has strategies for men who want to last longer or suffer from PE

Staying in control
To avoid Premature Ejaculation men have a few strategies to stay in control. Staying in control is certainly difficult for some men and they may choose to withdraw abruptly if they feel orgasm is close. Withdrawing is not a great strategy for the man or the woman, though it does give the man a second chance. Another approach a typical man commonly takes is to think of something other than sex when he’s very aroused to stop himself coming.

Women reading this may be shocked or slightly offended “How could he think of something else when we’re making love!” A man is being considerate here though girls, after all he’s using this as a technique because he’s so highly excited and he wants her to come first. There are other approaches, that we think have advantages over (1) withdrawing or (2) thinking of something else: these are Penetrative Foreplay and the O Switch

Delaying the orgasm imperative
Suppose a man were to say to himself that he’s going to have his orgasm later? Suppose he were to change his perspective so that after foreplay has got her really excited, he’ll penetrate her but move very slowly and continue to arouse her with foreplay? This mixture of penetration and foreplay we refer to as “Penetrative Foreplay”. It’s a change of focus away from his orgasm towards hers.

If he’s going to have his orgasm anyway, why not have fun blowing her mind? Why not have fun (gently) bonking her senseless? With Penetrative Foreplay and Orgasmic Triggers he can have fun and delay his orgasm till later.

His and her orgasms
One of the key messages of this site is for men to separate “her sex” from “his sex”, in other words to put her first. A man can do this from a physiological and a psychological point of view. If he uses Penetrative Foreplay he’s giving her fabulous sex, but holds back himself by not thrusting. If he hardly thrusts he stays at a lower level of arousal, and he uses the “Freeze” to trigger her orgasms.

He can give her many orgasms, even a multiple orgasm, if he combines the Freeze with other Orgasmic Triggers. Psychologically he puts her first by thinking “I’m gonna get my orgasm later anyway, so let’s have some fun before I come!”

Two strategies to delay his orgasm
In summary these are the two key strategies we recommend a man uses to delay coming, apart from Dr Helen Kaplan’s approach above:
1) a physical strategy – he moves slower and doesn’t thrust (Penetrative Foreplay)
2) a psychological strategy – he uses the “O Switch” to switch off his need to come until later